FIRST SEXUAL EXPERIENCE
One of the most common questions asked by the youths is when is the right time to have my first sexual experience? The answer is that there is no universal answer and that this is individual.
The real question should be: what criteria should be met before a young person can engage in sexual activity for the first time.
Before you engage in your first sexual experience it is crucial that you are well informed as well as physically and emotionally mature. Also, there is no reason to engage in sexual activity prematurely. Ideally you want to wait for the right moment and a partner that is adequate for you and make it consensual. This means that you at least have to know basic facts about pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, protection and contraception, as well as who to contact if unwanted pregnancy or an infection occurs in one or both of you.
First menstrual cycle in girls and first spontaneous erections and ejaculations in boys don’t mean that growth and maturing of the reproductive system are over. However, this does not mean that a girl can’t become pregnant. Pregnancy in a not yet fully developed body of a girl can have serious consequences that are very dangerous for her personality and health, and can even be life threatening. Because of this your body and the body of a person you want to have sex with need to be fully developed. It is crucial that the growth and development of all reproductive organs is fully finished. Otherwise, sexual intercourse might not be possible, very painful, traumatic and very risky. It can lead to permanent damage of sexual organs.
Emotional maturity is the key to being ready for your first sexual experience. Emotionally mature person will know how to reliably asses their own readiness to start sexual activity as well as their partner’s readiness. Emotional maturity has to do with how you perceive yourself and others as a person as well as the ability to understand how we feel and react to the world. Emotionally mature people assume responsibility for what is going on around them, they also have high self-esteem which allows them to say no to their partner, regardless of the pressure. Everybody has the right to consent to sexual relations and nobody should feel guilty for making a decision. Everybody has to think what they want, and what they don’t want. We always need to think about the situation and not allow ourselves to succumb to outside pressure. We should take into consideration needs and wishes of the person we want to make love with, this is a sign of love and respect. But, is satisfying somebody else desires prevent you from fulfilling your own, don’t hesitate to say no. If you feel like the first or any other sexual experience will hurt you in any way, do not engage in it.
When you plan to engage in sexual intercourse with someone it should be a person you can trust. Ideally this person should be the one that meets all the “technical” criteria, and loves you and you love him/her back. Is this the person you’re with? Find out by asking yourself these questions:
- Can you and your partner talk openly about sex, pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases?
- Do you respect, trust and love your partner?
- Does your partner trust, respect and love you?
- Do you know what your partner likes, and what pleases him/her?
- Do you have the desire to make love to him/her?
- Do you think that this partner will give you enough sexual satisfaction?
- Do you think he/she will be by your side in case of unwanted pregnancy or STD infection?
- Are you pressured by your partner to make love?
You need to respect yourself and others, know what you want. Making love can be a wonderful experience but only if you are both ready!
Make sure you use protection during your first sexual experience and every time after that! Protection is obligatory both for you and the person you want to make love to. By using contraception and protection from sexually transmitted diseases you are protecting yourself, your significant other, your trust and your relationship!
Fears are unfortunately omnipresent, one of the main reasons being the lack of communication about sexual relations. The easiest way to overcome this is through open communication with your partner and people you trust. To have successful sexual intercourse you need to have a wet vagina for women and an erection for men. If this is not achieved coitus (penetration) will be either very painful for one or both partners or impossible.